I was going to post after Valentine's Day but never actually got around to it. Lance and I had a fabulous dinner. Hannah was such a good little baby that she slept nice and sound in her stroller while he and I sat down to dinner at the table. A nice change from woofing down supper on the couch while holding her with one hand so she doesn't fuss! We had a special meal that we hadn't had in years - beef medallions in red wine and shallot sauce, YUM - followed up by home-made crepes. Back in the day, the first dessert I made for Lance was crepes :)

And I've been starting to do some more advertising with my business. Time to start bringing in some serious money. We got my car sold, which is great! But we had to make up the difference in what we got for it compared to what was actually left on the loan. Bummer. But at least that payment is gone as is the insurance payment. So we're back down to a single car family....we'd made one car work for us for many years, so I know we can do it. It will just be a little different now that there is a baby in the mix.

Hannah goes to her 2 month checkup this week. She's doing all the things the books say she should be so I'm sure she'll get a gold star. It is just amazing to have this little baby that we made and to be able to watch her grow. I gave her a bath just a few minutes ago and it was just the sweetest thing. She sat in her tub smiling up at me the whole time with this look on her face that seemed to say "Ahhh, I love my mom".

I quit

I went to work yesterday for show and tell with Hannah. Everyone who wanted to, got to hold her and love her and coo to her - then I broke the news. I'm not coming back to work from maternity leave. Lance and I gave it lots and lots of thought and we're going to try our best to make this work. 

I was nervous about giving notice because I like my job there a lot and I liked the opportunity to go back to school for free. My hope is that in a few years when Hannah goes to school I can go back to working there in some capacity. Before I went on maternity leave, I had put together a proposal to allow me to work from home at least a few days a week. It sounded like a great idea to me, but I got a no. It's too bad really because now they have to find someone new to train all over again to replace me. But that's okay, I'm excited about my new full time job as a mommy. Already I've gotten the best reward ever - complete and total recognition in the form of a genuine smile when I speak to her or go to pick her up.

Both Lance and I were raised either by babysitters or just left alone to fend for ourselves. Nothing against babysitters, it is what works for many many families. And I have some great memories of the two babysitters I can remember. They happened to live across the street from one another. One was an old grandma kind of lady whose house smelled funny. One was a mom of two other kids so I always had tons of neat toys to play with. I also remember spending time in the tavern with my Dad. I remember going into the office mom worked with her. I remember I was always being watched by someone, I used to throw a stink about having to have a babysitter - why couldn't I just watch myself?? But, knowing what I know now, I am very grateful to have had someone watching me. I'm glad I wasn't left alone. 

We were both raised differently but still turned out okay :) But we still very much agree that we want to be the ones to raise our baby. A babysitter will be great for the nights out and stuff, but the day to day business, Hannah will be watched my Lance or myself. And Hannah will not be left alone to take care of herself until she is quite a bit older. I'd have to ask mom, but I'm thinking I wasn't allowed alone until like 11 or 12, and even then it was only for short bursts, definitely not during the evening/night. Lance got more freedom than I did, he was a good boy (so his folks thought) at a young age and so was left alone much earlier. 

But all this means we have to sacrifice. We're selling our 2nd car, we're cutting out all the niceties we've come to enjoy, and I'm trying to get a home business going. Depending how things go, I may have to get a part time job for evenings and weekends which would significantly cut down on time Lance and I spend together, but we know it will be worth it. I don't know how often I hear from people "they grow so fast - you'll never get these first years back - when you're old and grey, you're never going to say I wish I worked more when my kids were young."

Wish us luck, this is going to be a huge change and adjustment for both of us. I'm nervous about it, but at the same time, I couldn't be more at peace with our decision. I know things will work out somehow.