Dinner with friends

I have always appreciated a nice dinner out with friends. Now that I am a stay at home mom of two, a dinner out is literally that light at the end of my tunnel. Anyone who stays home with their children knows that, there really is no "staying home" part - you are usually on the go quite a bit. So being able to relax over dinner and talk with grown ups is really something to look forward to and is appreciated so much more than it used to be.

Lance and I used to go out for dinner a lot. A LOT. We were your stereotypical DINKS (double income no kids) and spent money on anything and everything we wanted to. Dining out became more of the norm than eating in. Even though I enjoyed cooking and trying new recipes, it was just easier after long work days to head out to our favorite restaurants. We'd call up some friends, who were also DINKS and say, "hey we're going for dinner, wanna meet us there?" The flexibility we had is just a distant memory now. Sometimes I miss it but mostly I just recognize that we've moved on to another chapter in our lives that is no longer about us and what we want; it is about our children and what is best for all of us.

So, when my friends and I make a date to have a dinner out, it is a special treat. If we make plans a week ahead of time, I spend many many minutes (okay, hours) of that week thinking about the fact that I have an upcoming dinner with friends and it's going to be fantastic. We usually take turns choosing the venue, but honestly it really doesn't matter where we go; its the act of going that is important. I always feel so much more myself after having the opportunity to be out without my kids. My inner me comes back out and I can relax and talk without having to think or worry because I know Lance is with the girls and everything is fine.

I'm never gone more than a couple hours and honestly, that is all it takes. I come home completely re-energized and ready to tackle another week of "mommmmmmyyyyyyyy." So, a big thank you to my friends for recharging me last night. Today is going to be a good day :)

a mother's hearing

I used to always wonder how my mom knew what I was up to or even planning at times…I realize now it is because she has a mother's hearing. She heard everything. No matter where I was, or what I was doing, she heard it. I have it too, I have to say it comes in handy. No matter how sound I am sleeping, the slightest noise from either of them will wake me right up.

Early, early this morning I heard a fairly soft thud, followed by whimpering. I knew in an instant Hannah had fallen out of bed. Since it wasn't the "I'm dying" cry but more like the "I'm slightly confused" cry, I pushed Lance out of bed to go help her. One of the perks of me sleeping on the side of the bed that is far away from the door :) He hadn't heard the thud or the whimpering but was out of the bed in a flash as soon as I told him what had happened. Hannah was fine, she just needed a little soothing and reassurance. But it made me think about how many times I wake up during the night because one of them makes a peculiar noise, or how I can be completely absorbed in something and hear one of my babies over any other noise going on.

I have no doubt this super-mom hearing ability is going to come in handy as they get older. All those times I said I wasn't going to be like my mom, I know…I'm going to totally be like my mom. I will always have an ear tuned to what they are doing in case they need help, or in case they are in danger, or in case they are just being plain naughty.

My mom was not the type to just assume I was a good girl because I said I was or because she hoped I was. She was not easily snowed. Its not that she was looking for me to be naughty, but she knew I had it in me and was keeping her ears open to the sounds that would tip her off. Like when I was 16 and thought I was being soooo quiet with my contraband of liquor bottles I had stockpiled for a party. Two bottles clinked together and she freaking heard that tiny clink from 3 rooms away! Or when I was 8 and was talking to my hamster (because that's what you do when you're 8). For whatever reason I felt compelled to say "damn" and she was on me in a second. I remember I was in the den and she was all the way in the living room, yelling out to me "What did you just say?!" The bar of soap in my mouth taught me to never say that again. Not just to never say it in front of her, but not to say it anywhere because by that age I had already started to learn - Mom Heard Everything.

Wait…I'm how old??

I had a friend come over for some wine and catching up last week and as I was replaying some of the conversation for Lance, I suddenly remembered the funniest part of the evening. I literally forgot how old I was…

We were conversation bouncing, as you tend to do when it has been so long and there is so much to catch up on. At some point, she brings up her class reunion. She is telling me that her 15 year class reunion is next year and she isn't sure who is planning it or how it is getting planned. I was like, oh wow- MY 15 year reunion is next year too! My class is pretty much all gathered on facebook, so someone created a reunion page to help with the planning. She looks at me a little confused and asked, "your 15 year high school reunion is next year?" I was like, yep! Just to clarify things a little more, she asks, "so, you graduated in 1996?" I said, "oh no, no I graduated in 1992!" At this point, she very gently tells me, "um, it's your 20 year reunion next year." It's hard to say what expression was on my face at that point, but I do know I was pretty stunned to find that out. Somehow I lost four years, I was certain only 15 years had passed since high school.

As I was telling Lance this story, he, of course found it extremely hilarious. He reminded me that we had gone back to Wisconsin for my 15 year, remember? It was in a park, then in a bar, remember? A little belligerently, I tell him "of course, I remember, I was there…I just thought that was my 10 year."

Of course, I can appreciate the humor, otherwise I wouldn't share this story. But for shit's sake, how can I be old enough to have a 20 year reunion coming up?! Obviously my friend knew how old I was and was trying to get me to come to that realization on my own.

I don't like outside

I don't like the outside, never have. I wasn't that kid who was sent outside to play, because I didn't want to. I'd much rather play office or store or school inside. We had a fantastic climbing tree in our backyard, I had no interest in climbing it. Mom leaned a ladder against it one time hoping I'd catch the "tree-climbing" bug. That didn't work out.

There are people who can spend their entire day and probably evening too, just hanging out in the wilderness of the back yard. They take great joy in looking at each and every one of their flowers and random weeds. I'm sure it is a source of pride for them, which is great. It's just not at all interesting to me. Nana and Gramps used to have a very nice backyard. I may not have enjoyed it or really liked it, but I can appreciate that it was beautiful. I know they both really loved working in it, making it what it was. There are pictures in mom's photo albums that show me in their backyard posing for the camera by random plants and flowers. What I remember enjoying more though, was her library indoors that had all their books and games.

My parents also had a fantastic yard when I was a kid. Grapevines, apple trees, gigantic garden, all sorts of plants and flowers; it was well over an acre, maybe even two but we never called it anything other than "the yard." As in, go play in the yard! No, I don't want to play in the yard! It's hard to say where or when my aversion to outside started, I just know I've always had it. I would play with the neighborhood kids when a game of baseball was started in someone else's yard or when it was dark, and time to play Ghosts in the Graveyard. Maybe as long as someone else was out there playing with me, it made it better.

These days, as a grown up, I really force myself outside. I want Hannah, and even Eliza, to learn to enjoy the outdoors. It seems that Hannah comes by it naturally, she's always asking to go play in the yard and she loves when we go to the park or the zoo or anything else involving the outdoors. Since Lance and I have had a house, he has always planted a garden because he enjoys working in it. I enjoy knowing we have one, but I'd rather not be *in* it doing anything. Last year, Hannah got to help in the garden and she loved it. Being able to pick and graze as she went, was right up her alley :) She'd ask daily if it was time to pick raspberries or tomatoes.

Me go potty now

I woke up this morning (at 6am) to cries of "me go potty now" repeated over and over with increasing urgency. Because Lance is closest to the door, I woke him up to go deal with it. And since one was up, it was just a matter of seconds before the other one woke up and starting demanding her first milk of the morning. Our roles in the morning are pretty much automatically assigned, the one with boobs deals with the baby, the other one gets Hannah.

I know when it comes to potty training, everyone has an opinion. Do it this way - no, do it this way. And everyone is also more than happy to share their own kids' potty training experiences…even if it was decades ago. I got tired of hearing, "oh, well my child was potty trained by the age of 1" or "you know, my child started potty training when they were only 6 months old". It seems that the older the remember-er, the earlier the age of training began. I chalk that up to old person remembering incorrectly syndrome. Either way, I was not going to be putting Hannah on the potty at 6 months old - shit, she couldn't even crawl, why try and potty train?

We started potty training when Hannah was around 2 years old, she started showing some interest and so I went with it. She did surprisingly well and was thrilled to be wearing big girl underwear. But we had a setback when she got a UTI. All women know the signs of one of those, they hurt, they hurt, they hurt. And here my poor little girl had one :( It made her not want to potty at all. But, once the infection cleared up, we were able to try again.

And here she is, 2.5 and almost completely potty trained. She'll tell us when she has to go potty and off she goes! She loves wearing undies to bed for nap time and waking up dry. That's the first thing out of her mouth, "I dry!! I dry!!!" "Me no go potty in my undies!!" It is so cute to see the pride in her achievement :) And this morning, she woke up after having slept 10+ hours, completely dry and asking to go potty. That's awesome! She was way proud of herself and we showered her with praise. I know that nighttime potty training is still a little ways off yet, going that long is an awful lot to expect at her age. But we're getting there. And there is still the occasional accident, she'll suddenly look up from what she is doing with wide eyes and say, "uh, me go potty now" - when she uses that tone, I know that she needs a bit of assistance getting to the bathroom quickly because she can't unlock her legs from the "I'm holding it in tightly" position.

Turns out, I'm one of those mommies who is more than happy to share potty training experiences! But, I'm also pretty sure our experiences are very normal and average. It seems to be pretty common to try, to have a setback, to try again, to succeed. However and whenever it happens, it is a big deal and it is something for them to be very proud of.

You may remember this video I took of her after a particularly proud moment on the potty. That was one of my "techniques" - let's call your friends and tell them you went potty on the potty and they'll be so proud of you too! She was a couple months past her 2nd birthday, so the vocabulary wasn't quite there, but you can certainly get the gist of what she was saying :)

10 Years

Today's post could be about how we'll spend our ten year anniversary this evening, or it could be about how quickly the years have gone, or it could be about the ups and downs throughout the years, or it could be about our wedding oh so long ago. I am going with our wedding…it was, of course, the best wedding we could have ever had.

There are so many stories to be told about that day: friends and relatives that flew and drove from all over to celebrate with us, friends who showed up a day early to the church, nephews who forgot their socks, bridesmaid who forgot her dress, the multiple falls I took throughout the day right up through and including my toast-speech, the limo breaking down at the bar on our way to the reception, I could really go on and on.

Some of you who were at the wedding will remember this…but my good friend and bridesmaid, Jordana is a very clever girl and came up with a little trick to pull on us at the reception. During her toast-speech, she started talking about what a ladies man Lance was, and that over the years he had handed out so many keys to so many people, it was time for those keys to be returned. If everyone he'd given keys to over the years, please come up now and give them back, the fun days of bachelor-hood were over. While Jordana was saying all this, both Lance and I were looking at each other like, WTF is she talking about?! Then about half the room stood up and started bringing keys up to the head table. Random friends, both male and female had keys to turn it…that was freaking hilarious! Jordana had passed out dozens of keys to make this trick complete.

Another favorite story is when it came time to cut the cake. The whole day had just been this amazing blur of wonderful-ness and neither of us had really had anytime to just sit and soak it in. So, we headed up to the cake table to do our thing and all the guests just spontaneously started singing "Going to the Chapel" - I didn't know they were going to do this and I still don't know who lead the charge with that. But, it was so touching and all of a sudden every emotion I had felt that day just came to the surface and I couldn't hold it in any longer. I started to cry, I was just so happy, I had to cry. Lance instantly put his arms around me to soothe me and tell me it was okay. All throughout the evening people had been using their disposable cameras pretty regularly, but at this particular moment, every single camera flash in the room went off to capture Lance responding to my tears.

A great day with a great ending and ten years later, I'm so proud to say we are still very happily married. It is very sad when marriages end, but so very wonderful when you are lucky enough to spend year after year with the one who is your soulmate.

The Ring

I had to go back to the beginning of my iPhoto library for this one…a very fuzzy close up of my engagement ring from eleven years ago. The resolution on this photo says it all; digital cameras were new and so took pretty shitty pictures. The camera I used was one of the "check-out" cameras the IT department offered while I was working for Target Corp. up in Minneapolis. It was probably five pounds and held maybe ten pictures at a time, but it was new and cool and we got to borrow it for our weekend getaway.

While Lance and I were living in Minneapolis, we would sometimes escape the city life and head up to Duluth. We were single with pretty good paying jobs and so we enjoyed spending our money when we could :) The Oclott Bed and Breakfast was our place to stay and while we tried out one of their suites one time, the carriage house out back was our favorite "room." It offered complete privacy, but you could still come to the main house whenever you wanted to hang out or just grab some breakfast. Those trips to Duluth were fantastic. I'm not sure exactly how many times we made the drive up, but I know every time we did it was beautiful. We usually headed up in the fall so we could enjoy the tree colors turning.

One special weekend up in Duluth, Lance asked me to marry him. In our carriage house, he got down on one knee and asked me to be his wife, forever. I'll never forget that moment or the amount of tears I cried. I wasn't expecting it, at all. We had been living together for a year or so, and I knew eventually we'd get married but I just figured it wouldn't be until after he was done with the music scene up there. And for him to have hidden a diamond ring somewhere in our apartment that I never came across was mind-blowing!

I loved every day I got to wear my engagement ring and proudly flashed it to anyone who would look. Even now, I'll look down at my rings and remember back to when it was just the one solitaire and how young we were and how long ago that was and look at where we are now. We've done well Lance, we've done really well :)