K, I’m back now...I’ve been down for almost a couple weeks now, finally went to the doctor – turns out I have the bronchitis. I missed a bunch of work because I just couldn’t stop sleeping and when I wasn’t sleeping I was hacking up some serious lung butter. Once he gave me my medicine, I started to feel better right away. My lung butter is still there and is being pretty persistent at times, but at least I no longer feel the need to stay curled up in bed.
I haven’t given a kitty story in awhile so – when we left town all quick like to get to Wisconsin, we weren’t sure for how long we’d be gone or what we should do about the kitties. Lance had set out a couple bowls of food, which for 3 cats is probably realistically 3 days worth of food – we were gone Wednesday am to Sunday pm, so 5 days. Not enough time for them to have starved, but long enough that I’m sure they got angry. We do have some pretty ambitious kitties though, so the lack of food did not hold them down. When we walked into the house, all three of them milled around our feet....then I saw their ambitiousness. I blame Henry and George, Mesa has never been one to do anything out of the kitty-norm. But the two boy kitties had gotten on top of the fridge and brought down our bags of chips, bags of bread, bags of buns, and had a feast right there on the floor. I’ve seen what George will do to a bag if we leave it in his reach, its like he takes out all pent up frustration on the bag. In seconds flat, he’ll have a crazy amount of tooth puncture holes all over the bag. This time though, he didn’t just masacre the bags, he actually ate the contents! Little kitty tooth marks in the bread and buns. If it weren’t for the circumstances I would have yelled at the kitties, but I felt bad that they felt starved.
Later that same night when I sat down with jammies on to relax, little baby Henry jumped into my lap and threw himself down with such force that he actually foofed my hair! Its our routine that in the evenings, he gets in my lap and has mom-time, he gets his belly rubbed, he gets coo’d to, he snores... I think he was upset that he didn’t get his lap time for many nights in a row, not upset enough to stay OUT of my lap, but enough that he had to show me.
Friday, April 25, 2008
Friday, April 18, 2008
Dad
It took me awhile to be able to write this, but today's blog is yesterday's therapeutic journal.
On April 2nd, my Dad died. I had gone to work that morning, it was a regular routine day for me and I had just finished making my morning espresso when my cell phone rang and I saw it was one of my sisters. My heart did that little jump thing it does when your phone rings at 2am, like you know something is wrong. It isn't very common for them to call me, much less during the day like that so I was scared. When I answered, it was Pam and she sounded funny, she told me my Dad was sick and that she was going to put mom on the phone. Mom got on and I could hear in her trying to be tough voice that she was scared and I needed to come home.
I had to interrupt my boss from a meeting, but told her I needed to leave right now because my Dad was in the hospital and I wasn't sure what it all meant. She understood the urgency and told me to go, somewhere in there I got ahold of Lance and told him what I knew and that I was going home to pack and hit the road. We met up at home, packed up random things, dropped the dogs off at the spa and were on the road. I called mom back to let her know we were on our way and to try and see what was happening. She told me that Dad was 911'd in to the hospital last night because collapsed and she couldn't get him back up, they found he had a really high temperature and that they think his appendix had burst and so his other organs were beginning to fail and shut down. The doctors had told her surgery wasn't an option because he wouldn't be able to withstand it, so for now they were keeping him comfortable. Well, I knew what that meant, we needed to hurry and there was a chance we wouldn't get there in time. I asked her if she wanted me to call anyone for her that should be called, and she asked that I let Theresa know.
Just to recap a little, Dad had three kids from a previous marriage (Theresa, Mike, and Paul) and Mom had three kids from a previous marriage (Pam, James, and Karen), then they got together and had me. Theresa and Mike moved out East and while Theresa had contact with Mom and Dad, I don't know that Mike did and I know for certain Paul never did. So, for me to call Theresa was a big thing, I had no idea how to get ahold of her, especially during the daytime when she'd be at work. I called Lance's mom for help, I told her I knew Theresa worked with her husband in a business they owned and a couple towns near their home I thought it might be in. Thanks to google, she found them and I got ahold of them. I can't even remember how many years its been since I talked to Theresa and to call her with this news was beyond sad on many levels.
We made the 300 mile drive in record time, Lance was averaging 90 most of the way, but when we got there and I called Pam to tell me where to go at the hospital, something told me we didn't make it. Pam and Karen met me in the lobby to take me up and told me then, that Dad had passed away about 20 minutes ago. I had prepared myself for that, telling myself that Dad was already surrounded by alot of family and that if I didn't get there in time, it would be okay. We went up to the room and it was so sad, so final. We stayed there for just a few minutes more and then went straight to the funeral home to begin arrangements.
The days following and leading up to the funeral were just a whirlwind and a blur, surrounded by people, taking care of all the arrangements, it seemed to go by quickly, but at the same time, it seemed to go on forever. Pam and Karen and I went through photo albums to pull out pictures and make those photo boards that people do at funerals. Personally, I really like the photo board thing, it gives you a candid look at various times in that person's life. Looking through all the photos brought back all sorts of memories, and hearing both Pam and Karen tell me how much my Dad loved me and doted on me when I was little, made me remember times I hadn't thought about in a long time. I was a Daddy's girl, through and through, he took me everywhere and I did so many things with him. I'm pretty sure he got me anything I wanted, one day he came home with a piano because I wanted one. Another day, he came home with a horse, because every little girl wants a pony. Though, the pony, I did save my pennies for and I remember very clearly, ME buying the horse with my pennies. I'm sure though, it was probably, like a couple dollars of pennies, but that didn't matter. I remember alot of fishing trips with Dad, and I had my very own pole. Again, I know now, that he took me to a stocked pond so I'd be sure to catch something, but it was the bonding time that mattered.
When I was 10, Dad got sick. We've all always referred to it as 'got sick', nobody really knows what it was. Dad developed some kind of mysterious brain illness that no doctor was able to identify and so couldn't treat and make go away. He became a very different Dad than the one I grew up with and became stuck in the past. As I aged through the years, it would confuse him to see me, because to him, I was supposed to still be 10 - the age I was when he got sick. I don't know how Mom did it, she found the strength and the courage to stand by him and care for him all these years. He wouldn't often talk, but if you asked him a question, he would answer. There were a couple times a year when it seemed like he would break through the cloud surrounding him and the old Dad would come out and he'd be his old-self, wise-cracking and just being silly.
Mom was very strong through all those years, so it wasn't surprising to me that she continued to be strong for the funeral preparations. It meant alot to me that she asked for my input on so many things and added in the little things I really wanted. Dad was a Catholic and became more active in religion when I was about 8, I remember him taking me to mass with him and teaching me the differences between Catholic and Lutheran. It was important to me that he have his St. Christopher in his pocket in the casket. The funeral was hard, as all funerals are. But loosing a parent is really hard. It meant so much to me to see all of his friends from the old days come. Most of those people I hadn't seen since I was like 10, but I remembered all their faces and can remember our families all hanging out together. Good times.
Theresa came back for the funeral. Inside, I knew she would, and I also knew that neither Mike nor Paul would come for it. Like they always say, it is great to see all these people, but not under these circumstances. I did get to spend some time with Theresa and her husband Wayne, which I really did appreciate. Lance and I have been married now for almost 7 years and this was the first time they got to meet. When I was in my teens, I went out to stay with Wayne and Theresa a few times on my Spring Breaks and I always looked forward to that and thoroughly enjoyed my time with them. Seeings how we have the same Dad, it seems we should know more about one another and see each other more, but that isn't how it is. Maybe someday that will change. I think Dad would want me to try again and reach out to them.
With Dad's kids for the most part, out of the picture, he took Mom's kids on as his own. Pam and Karen treated him like a real Dad, not like a step-dad and I'm sure he really loved that. I think Dad's dying was as hard for Pam and Karen as it was for me, he was a Dad to us all.
I'm grateful I had such a loving Dad and I'm grateful to have had him for as long as I did. While he was different in my later years, he was still my Dad. I will miss him, but I will also always have my memories of how much he loved me.
On April 2nd, my Dad died. I had gone to work that morning, it was a regular routine day for me and I had just finished making my morning espresso when my cell phone rang and I saw it was one of my sisters. My heart did that little jump thing it does when your phone rings at 2am, like you know something is wrong. It isn't very common for them to call me, much less during the day like that so I was scared. When I answered, it was Pam and she sounded funny, she told me my Dad was sick and that she was going to put mom on the phone. Mom got on and I could hear in her trying to be tough voice that she was scared and I needed to come home.
I had to interrupt my boss from a meeting, but told her I needed to leave right now because my Dad was in the hospital and I wasn't sure what it all meant. She understood the urgency and told me to go, somewhere in there I got ahold of Lance and told him what I knew and that I was going home to pack and hit the road. We met up at home, packed up random things, dropped the dogs off at the spa and were on the road. I called mom back to let her know we were on our way and to try and see what was happening. She told me that Dad was 911'd in to the hospital last night because collapsed and she couldn't get him back up, they found he had a really high temperature and that they think his appendix had burst and so his other organs were beginning to fail and shut down. The doctors had told her surgery wasn't an option because he wouldn't be able to withstand it, so for now they were keeping him comfortable. Well, I knew what that meant, we needed to hurry and there was a chance we wouldn't get there in time. I asked her if she wanted me to call anyone for her that should be called, and she asked that I let Theresa know.
Just to recap a little, Dad had three kids from a previous marriage (Theresa, Mike, and Paul) and Mom had three kids from a previous marriage (Pam, James, and Karen), then they got together and had me. Theresa and Mike moved out East and while Theresa had contact with Mom and Dad, I don't know that Mike did and I know for certain Paul never did. So, for me to call Theresa was a big thing, I had no idea how to get ahold of her, especially during the daytime when she'd be at work. I called Lance's mom for help, I told her I knew Theresa worked with her husband in a business they owned and a couple towns near their home I thought it might be in. Thanks to google, she found them and I got ahold of them. I can't even remember how many years its been since I talked to Theresa and to call her with this news was beyond sad on many levels.
We made the 300 mile drive in record time, Lance was averaging 90 most of the way, but when we got there and I called Pam to tell me where to go at the hospital, something told me we didn't make it. Pam and Karen met me in the lobby to take me up and told me then, that Dad had passed away about 20 minutes ago. I had prepared myself for that, telling myself that Dad was already surrounded by alot of family and that if I didn't get there in time, it would be okay. We went up to the room and it was so sad, so final. We stayed there for just a few minutes more and then went straight to the funeral home to begin arrangements.
The days following and leading up to the funeral were just a whirlwind and a blur, surrounded by people, taking care of all the arrangements, it seemed to go by quickly, but at the same time, it seemed to go on forever. Pam and Karen and I went through photo albums to pull out pictures and make those photo boards that people do at funerals. Personally, I really like the photo board thing, it gives you a candid look at various times in that person's life. Looking through all the photos brought back all sorts of memories, and hearing both Pam and Karen tell me how much my Dad loved me and doted on me when I was little, made me remember times I hadn't thought about in a long time. I was a Daddy's girl, through and through, he took me everywhere and I did so many things with him. I'm pretty sure he got me anything I wanted, one day he came home with a piano because I wanted one. Another day, he came home with a horse, because every little girl wants a pony. Though, the pony, I did save my pennies for and I remember very clearly, ME buying the horse with my pennies. I'm sure though, it was probably, like a couple dollars of pennies, but that didn't matter. I remember alot of fishing trips with Dad, and I had my very own pole. Again, I know now, that he took me to a stocked pond so I'd be sure to catch something, but it was the bonding time that mattered.
When I was 10, Dad got sick. We've all always referred to it as 'got sick', nobody really knows what it was. Dad developed some kind of mysterious brain illness that no doctor was able to identify and so couldn't treat and make go away. He became a very different Dad than the one I grew up with and became stuck in the past. As I aged through the years, it would confuse him to see me, because to him, I was supposed to still be 10 - the age I was when he got sick. I don't know how Mom did it, she found the strength and the courage to stand by him and care for him all these years. He wouldn't often talk, but if you asked him a question, he would answer. There were a couple times a year when it seemed like he would break through the cloud surrounding him and the old Dad would come out and he'd be his old-self, wise-cracking and just being silly.
Mom was very strong through all those years, so it wasn't surprising to me that she continued to be strong for the funeral preparations. It meant alot to me that she asked for my input on so many things and added in the little things I really wanted. Dad was a Catholic and became more active in religion when I was about 8, I remember him taking me to mass with him and teaching me the differences between Catholic and Lutheran. It was important to me that he have his St. Christopher in his pocket in the casket. The funeral was hard, as all funerals are. But loosing a parent is really hard. It meant so much to me to see all of his friends from the old days come. Most of those people I hadn't seen since I was like 10, but I remembered all their faces and can remember our families all hanging out together. Good times.
Theresa came back for the funeral. Inside, I knew she would, and I also knew that neither Mike nor Paul would come for it. Like they always say, it is great to see all these people, but not under these circumstances. I did get to spend some time with Theresa and her husband Wayne, which I really did appreciate. Lance and I have been married now for almost 7 years and this was the first time they got to meet. When I was in my teens, I went out to stay with Wayne and Theresa a few times on my Spring Breaks and I always looked forward to that and thoroughly enjoyed my time with them. Seeings how we have the same Dad, it seems we should know more about one another and see each other more, but that isn't how it is. Maybe someday that will change. I think Dad would want me to try again and reach out to them.
With Dad's kids for the most part, out of the picture, he took Mom's kids on as his own. Pam and Karen treated him like a real Dad, not like a step-dad and I'm sure he really loved that. I think Dad's dying was as hard for Pam and Karen as it was for me, he was a Dad to us all.
I'm grateful I had such a loving Dad and I'm grateful to have had him for as long as I did. While he was different in my later years, he was still my Dad. I will miss him, but I will also always have my memories of how much he loved me.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Time to open those 'healed wounds'
And by that, I mean its time for us to start work on the house again. We’d focused all our efforts on the inside of the home back when we bought it and moved in (Jan of '06). This spring, summer, and fall are dedicated to the outside of the home. It needs and will get: painted, new sidewalk, new front stoop, roof and soffit patchup, and whatever else comes along.
I think enough time has passed that I’ve somewhat forgotten how mentally exhausting (not to mention physically) it all was. Time to go at it again and see how we fare. I’ve gotten to a point now where I can almost joke about how awful it was, when people say something will cost say $1,000...I now know that *really* means I have no idea but it will probably be at least 5x that. And that my idea of timelines and timeframes have no business in rehabbing. Hmm, I think I’m still a little bitter! Lol.
Seriously though, I’m going to truly try to go into this with a more flexible mindset, so I’m not freaking out all the time when deadlines aren’t met and budgets are seriously blown. Thinking back, almost makes me want a valium-laced vodka cocktail right now, it was that anxiety filled –but Lance and I can get through it, we will persevere!!! (just keep swimming, just keep swimming). It is no secret that I have a short fuse, but when Lance’s fuse got tripped last time....that was big. It takes a lot to get him angry, (one of many reasons he is the ying to my yang) but he got angry. But we have learned a lot about things and will hopefully have better luck with contracts/etc. this time around.
On the positive side, it is exciting to me that the house will now be pretty on the outside. As they say on the TV, its all about curb appeal. And since our renter goes away at the end of this summer and we’ll be renter-hunting, it is only wise to make it appealing to those on a drive by checking the place out.
The scaffolding is in place and the scraping has begun, woohoo! Scraping outside paint, so far, is still yucky work, but WAY better than scraping the 16 layers of paint and wallpaper that was inside the house. Its also no secret that I am a big klutz, so this business of scaffolding has me a little on edge. I once fell off one step and broke both feet – ONE step – BOTH feet, makes me wonder what a tumble off the scaffolding holds.... But we won’t think about that :) Teri reminded me that any time spent on the scaffolding needs to be on the buddy system, advice I will totally heed.
I think enough time has passed that I’ve somewhat forgotten how mentally exhausting (not to mention physically) it all was. Time to go at it again and see how we fare. I’ve gotten to a point now where I can almost joke about how awful it was, when people say something will cost say $1,000...I now know that *really* means I have no idea but it will probably be at least 5x that. And that my idea of timelines and timeframes have no business in rehabbing. Hmm, I think I’m still a little bitter! Lol.
Seriously though, I’m going to truly try to go into this with a more flexible mindset, so I’m not freaking out all the time when deadlines aren’t met and budgets are seriously blown. Thinking back, almost makes me want a valium-laced vodka cocktail right now, it was that anxiety filled –but Lance and I can get through it, we will persevere!!! (just keep swimming, just keep swimming). It is no secret that I have a short fuse, but when Lance’s fuse got tripped last time....that was big. It takes a lot to get him angry, (one of many reasons he is the ying to my yang) but he got angry. But we have learned a lot about things and will hopefully have better luck with contracts/etc. this time around.
On the positive side, it is exciting to me that the house will now be pretty on the outside. As they say on the TV, its all about curb appeal. And since our renter goes away at the end of this summer and we’ll be renter-hunting, it is only wise to make it appealing to those on a drive by checking the place out.
The scaffolding is in place and the scraping has begun, woohoo! Scraping outside paint, so far, is still yucky work, but WAY better than scraping the 16 layers of paint and wallpaper that was inside the house. Its also no secret that I am a big klutz, so this business of scaffolding has me a little on edge. I once fell off one step and broke both feet – ONE step – BOTH feet, makes me wonder what a tumble off the scaffolding holds.... But we won’t think about that :) Teri reminded me that any time spent on the scaffolding needs to be on the buddy system, advice I will totally heed.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Spring Break!
This coming week is Spring Break!! Not that it really means anything to me, other than I'll be pretty lonely at work what with all the campus away. As a real student I totally looked forward to spring break, but as a grown up student its pretty much like any other week - boo for me.
The gray is continuing his antics. We've found he loves Grandma Marge and Grandpa Don. In cleaning and sorting we came across a photo of the two of them and because we weren't sure where we were going to put it, it ended up staying on the coffee table. Next day, I'm sitting on the couch and Henry, quick as a flash, jumps on the table, grabs the photo (in his mouth) and shoots off across the room. I chased him and got it away from him :) Hoping it may have been just a fluke thing, I put the photo back on the table, but he went right back after them again. I suppose it is sweet really, he just wants to be close to them.
The gray is continuing his antics. We've found he loves Grandma Marge and Grandpa Don. In cleaning and sorting we came across a photo of the two of them and because we weren't sure where we were going to put it, it ended up staying on the coffee table. Next day, I'm sitting on the couch and Henry, quick as a flash, jumps on the table, grabs the photo (in his mouth) and shoots off across the room. I chased him and got it away from him :) Hoping it may have been just a fluke thing, I put the photo back on the table, but he went right back after them again. I suppose it is sweet really, he just wants to be close to them.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
On the bed, on the floor, on a towel by the door....
My new favorite song.
though it is a toss up with this one too
I can sometimes really be on the ball, but I'm a bit behind when it comes to these. I'd heard grumblings but didn't pay close attention and didn't know what all the fuss was about. I haven't laughed so hard in a long time, they're freaking hilarious!!!
though it is a toss up with this one too
I can sometimes really be on the ball, but I'm a bit behind when it comes to these. I'd heard grumblings but didn't pay close attention and didn't know what all the fuss was about. I haven't laughed so hard in a long time, they're freaking hilarious!!!
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
blast from the past
I had a very pleasant surprise a couple days ago - I got an email out of the blue from a long lost friend. Well, he was more of a friend of Lance's to be technical about it, but I'd consider him one of mine too. He's all grow-ed up now and even a father. Its funny to remember back to those years when we hung out, it seems like a lifetime ago. Makes me think about some of the others I hung out with back then and wonder what they are up to. Only a couple of them have withstood the test of time and are still really close friends, unfortunately so many have moved away and we've lost touch. Whenever we start to reminisce and talk about 'back then' I can't help but remember Lori, the cat, and the cupboard. That is a story I will always remember and chuckle at...ahhh, Lori :)
On the school front, I have another test coming up on Tuesday. This weekend will be all about studing, woohoo. Freaking trig, it is almost over though. I just keep thinking of it in baby steps. They've released the schedules for Summer and Fall already, so I'm browsing and thinking of my upcoming classes. My goal is to obviously get this degree done and out of the way as quickly as possible, but I keep getting distracted by all those interesting courses that I would love to take yet have nothing to do with my chosen path.
Now on to the kitties that have lately been referred to as 'those cats'. The gray one is just continually naughty. To his credit, he hasn't eaten any fish since the Betta incident of '07. He has started a new little habit though...he's always had this weird fascination with water. I've always thought cats hated anything to do with water, unless it was in their designated kitty water bowl. This one however, comes running anytime he hears you turn on a faucet! His new habit is following me into the bathroom, jumping up into the sink, and staring at me until I turn the faucet on for him. Once the water starts running, he is happy as a clam - drinking out of it, batting at it, trying to catch it. Then, after a couple minutes of this, he'll stare at me again but with an added purr. I flip the drain plug (because that's what he's trained me to do) and he proceeds to splash in the little puddle. He'll let out another purr-meow when the puddle has reached a sufficient size and I turn off the water and let him have his fun in the sink.
The black one we now know is the official sock stealer. I had blamed Henry for the longest time because it seemed the logical choice. But it is George. We still wake up to socks scattered around the house, and come home to more socks scattered around. I have caught George in the act finally. One night I was sitting up in the den on the computer when I heard George meowing and crying like they do when they've caught a mouse. I went downstairs to see what he had, and it turns out he'd caught a sock. He was circling it and meowing at it. What is especially odd about this is that George leaves Lance's socks completely alone - he only goes after mine! Another thing I always thought about cats was that they were color blind. But George makes me think otherwise because my socks are mostly polka-dotted, striped, argyle, super fun colors and that seems to be what draws him to them. The few brown or black socks that I do have are never brought up from the basement as kill. He must take his time browsing through the laundry basket for just the right sock, lol.
These cats are by far the strangest cats I have ever had...
On the school front, I have another test coming up on Tuesday. This weekend will be all about studing, woohoo. Freaking trig, it is almost over though. I just keep thinking of it in baby steps. They've released the schedules for Summer and Fall already, so I'm browsing and thinking of my upcoming classes. My goal is to obviously get this degree done and out of the way as quickly as possible, but I keep getting distracted by all those interesting courses that I would love to take yet have nothing to do with my chosen path.
Now on to the kitties that have lately been referred to as 'those cats'. The gray one is just continually naughty. To his credit, he hasn't eaten any fish since the Betta incident of '07. He has started a new little habit though...he's always had this weird fascination with water. I've always thought cats hated anything to do with water, unless it was in their designated kitty water bowl. This one however, comes running anytime he hears you turn on a faucet! His new habit is following me into the bathroom, jumping up into the sink, and staring at me until I turn the faucet on for him. Once the water starts running, he is happy as a clam - drinking out of it, batting at it, trying to catch it. Then, after a couple minutes of this, he'll stare at me again but with an added purr. I flip the drain plug (because that's what he's trained me to do) and he proceeds to splash in the little puddle. He'll let out another purr-meow when the puddle has reached a sufficient size and I turn off the water and let him have his fun in the sink.
The black one we now know is the official sock stealer. I had blamed Henry for the longest time because it seemed the logical choice. But it is George. We still wake up to socks scattered around the house, and come home to more socks scattered around. I have caught George in the act finally. One night I was sitting up in the den on the computer when I heard George meowing and crying like they do when they've caught a mouse. I went downstairs to see what he had, and it turns out he'd caught a sock. He was circling it and meowing at it. What is especially odd about this is that George leaves Lance's socks completely alone - he only goes after mine! Another thing I always thought about cats was that they were color blind. But George makes me think otherwise because my socks are mostly polka-dotted, striped, argyle, super fun colors and that seems to be what draws him to them. The few brown or black socks that I do have are never brought up from the basement as kill. He must take his time browsing through the laundry basket for just the right sock, lol.
These cats are by far the strangest cats I have ever had...
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