The Easter Bunny

One of my friends commented to me that Holidays are going to be fun all over again for Lance and I. She is so right on about that, I am actually looking forward to Easter this year. Which is a peculiar Holiday for me to be excited about. I can't even remember the last time I colored eggs or did anything even remotely resembling celebrating Easter. This  year though, I've got our egg coloring kit all ready to go. I can't wait for Lance and I to color eggs with Hannah for the first time. I know she isn't going to remember or really participate, but it'll be fun for us anyway. And Hannah has started to notice colors and things, so she may even look at an egg...

Today I took her to the mall to see the Easter Bunny and she did great. She wasn't entirely sure about the bunny but sat on his lap anyway. There was no smiling, but at least there was no screaming! Then we stopped to chat with a friend who had a booth at the mall show and did some more walking around. She was being a really good baby and getting pet by many a mall-goer. So many stopped to tell me what a pretty baby she was, awwww :) But as I was at the sprint store looking at phones, she started to squak a little and before I knew it she had completely lost her shit. No amount of mommy love would pull her out of it. And unfortunately, the mall has those high ceilings and no carpeting so her yelling really echoed. I had people looking at us and I'm sure they were wondering what I was doing to my baby to make her make such a noise. We hurried out to the car as quickly as we could because I knew as soon as I got her in the car seat and the car started to move she'd be okay. I was right, we hadn't even gotten out of the parking lot before all became right in her world and she quieted right down.

Each stop light we came to though, she let out a few half-hearted squaks like, don't you dare stop this car or I swear, I'll loose my shit again! We got home and it was like nothing was ever wrong, she was her usual smiling self. I think she was just a bit over-stimulated by all the lights and things to look at that she got tired and then pissed off that her bed wasn't there when she was tired. 

Bibs?

I had a revelation yesterday. 

After a week or so of lots of spitting up (from Hannah, not me) when previously there had been little to none, I finally realized why people had given us so many bibs. Each time I would open a gift and see bibs, inside I would think....huh, bibs, great - she'll be eating and need bibs, oh when she's 6 months old. So, I open up the bib drawer - yep bibs have their own drawer because we have such a crazy amount of them. I open the drawer and slap a bib on baby. It catches the spit up and I don't have to change her clothes! Awesome! When people give new parents bibs, they should really explain why :)

I'm trying to figure out what I've introduced into my diet that she is not digging. I've already had to cut out cheese and milk. I used to eat LOTS of cheese and milk on a regular basis but had to let it go because Hannah's little tummy can't digest cow's milk at this age. Our doula had warned me of the problems babies can have with cow's milk but until I saw it I didn't really believe her. So away went the cheese...that was sad. I love me some cheese. I have started having a latte in the evenings and I'm wondering if it is the coffee (decaf of course) or the 1/3 cup of milk I make it with. Either way, gotta cut it out to see if it makes her feel better. One thing I do eat that she doesn't mind at all is spinach...it turns her poop neon green. LOL

This morning because she's been so spitty uppy, I kept her in her jammies longer than I usually do thinking 1 less outfit change. I'd of course already forgotten my bib revelation of yesterday. So, when I decided to get her dressed I picked out one of her cute little dresses with a long sleeved onesie and little tights underneath. I got all of this on her and buttoned and scooped her up off the table to admire her, when she blew. She projectiled over my shoulder. Pour Eleanor thought the sky was falling, she skittered around trying to get out of the way, but of course some got on her before she could flee to safety. Franklin sauntered over to lick up what had landed on the floor like, mmm what's this coming from the sky? I laid Hannah back down on the table and proceeded to remove the clothes I had just put on....this time, I remembered to cover the clean outfit with a bib. So far, we've changed the bib 4 times, and her outfit has been saved!!! LOVE a bib.

Henry-isms

It is SO nice outside today I couldn't wait for Lance to get home and start removing the storms. Most of the windows have the old school wood frame storms that actually hang on the windows, not the 'new fangled' slide up storm windows. The front porch ones are easy enough for me to remove though, so I pulled a couple off and rather than go hunt down the screens to match, I pulled out a couple of those temporary screens. I wasn't thinking too much about it, but I should have known better. Baby Henry has been at that screen trying to escape for the last 15 minutes...luckily this window is a much tighter fit than the kitchen window from last summer. So, he is just sitting by the window now, howling because he needs outside THAT badly. Freak.

I've mentioned before how Henry will follow us into the bathroom, jump into the sink and proceed to poke us with his paw until we pet him and then turn on the faucet. That's old news now, he's trained us so well we really don't think about it anymore, it is just second nature. But yesterday Lance forgot how the game goes and ignored Henry. Henry kept poking him with his paw - tap tap tap on the shoulder. After a few taps and no response from Lance, Henry leaned in and bit Lance on the shoulder! I believe that is kitty for, "pay attention to me you bastard!"

I was going to post after Valentine's Day but never actually got around to it. Lance and I had a fabulous dinner. Hannah was such a good little baby that she slept nice and sound in her stroller while he and I sat down to dinner at the table. A nice change from woofing down supper on the couch while holding her with one hand so she doesn't fuss! We had a special meal that we hadn't had in years - beef medallions in red wine and shallot sauce, YUM - followed up by home-made crepes. Back in the day, the first dessert I made for Lance was crepes :)

And I've been starting to do some more advertising with my business. Time to start bringing in some serious money. We got my car sold, which is great! But we had to make up the difference in what we got for it compared to what was actually left on the loan. Bummer. But at least that payment is gone as is the insurance payment. So we're back down to a single car family....we'd made one car work for us for many years, so I know we can do it. It will just be a little different now that there is a baby in the mix.

Hannah goes to her 2 month checkup this week. She's doing all the things the books say she should be so I'm sure she'll get a gold star. It is just amazing to have this little baby that we made and to be able to watch her grow. I gave her a bath just a few minutes ago and it was just the sweetest thing. She sat in her tub smiling up at me the whole time with this look on her face that seemed to say "Ahhh, I love my mom".

I quit

I went to work yesterday for show and tell with Hannah. Everyone who wanted to, got to hold her and love her and coo to her - then I broke the news. I'm not coming back to work from maternity leave. Lance and I gave it lots and lots of thought and we're going to try our best to make this work. 

I was nervous about giving notice because I like my job there a lot and I liked the opportunity to go back to school for free. My hope is that in a few years when Hannah goes to school I can go back to working there in some capacity. Before I went on maternity leave, I had put together a proposal to allow me to work from home at least a few days a week. It sounded like a great idea to me, but I got a no. It's too bad really because now they have to find someone new to train all over again to replace me. But that's okay, I'm excited about my new full time job as a mommy. Already I've gotten the best reward ever - complete and total recognition in the form of a genuine smile when I speak to her or go to pick her up.

Both Lance and I were raised either by babysitters or just left alone to fend for ourselves. Nothing against babysitters, it is what works for many many families. And I have some great memories of the two babysitters I can remember. They happened to live across the street from one another. One was an old grandma kind of lady whose house smelled funny. One was a mom of two other kids so I always had tons of neat toys to play with. I also remember spending time in the tavern with my Dad. I remember going into the office mom worked with her. I remember I was always being watched by someone, I used to throw a stink about having to have a babysitter - why couldn't I just watch myself?? But, knowing what I know now, I am very grateful to have had someone watching me. I'm glad I wasn't left alone. 

We were both raised differently but still turned out okay :) But we still very much agree that we want to be the ones to raise our baby. A babysitter will be great for the nights out and stuff, but the day to day business, Hannah will be watched my Lance or myself. And Hannah will not be left alone to take care of herself until she is quite a bit older. I'd have to ask mom, but I'm thinking I wasn't allowed alone until like 11 or 12, and even then it was only for short bursts, definitely not during the evening/night. Lance got more freedom than I did, he was a good boy (so his folks thought) at a young age and so was left alone much earlier. 

But all this means we have to sacrifice. We're selling our 2nd car, we're cutting out all the niceties we've come to enjoy, and I'm trying to get a home business going. Depending how things go, I may have to get a part time job for evenings and weekends which would significantly cut down on time Lance and I spend together, but we know it will be worth it. I don't know how often I hear from people "they grow so fast - you'll never get these first years back - when you're old and grey, you're never going to say I wish I worked more when my kids were young."

Wish us luck, this is going to be a huge change and adjustment for both of us. I'm nervous about it, but at the same time, I couldn't be more at peace with our decision. I know things will work out somehow.

Franklin and Hannah

Their first picture together - he crawled up on the couch to lay next to me as she was feeding so I took the opportunity to prop her up against him. He didn't even flinch. I see the two of them being like those emails that get forwarded around. A little baby all curled up on a 200lb dog :)

What do I do with myself all day?

I make milk, I nurse Hannah, I change her, I soothe her, I play with her, and I love every minute of it! So far, I've been lucky to get a shower in every day, most days I can even straighten up around the house. 

Some days she feeds every hour, some days she feeds every two hours - so there is a lot of time spent hanging on my boob. I've been doing as much reading on breast feeding as I can and our doula has been a good source of information too. Babies who nurse, don't get as full as babies who eat formula and food so they want to eat more frequently. Sometimes it can get exhausting when I don't feel like I've gotten enough sleep. But then I look at her and I realize how much I really do enjoy being her source of nutritious milk. Yesterday I was actually able to get a crock pot meal made and was pretty proud of myself to have supper ready for Lance when he got home. I know he appreciated it.

So what I do with myself all day is take care of a baby. I have realized how much I love taking care of her, my inner nurturer has come out and now I know what others mean when they say they would do ANYThing for their kids.