Friday, September 16, 2011

The last good bye

Eleanor's time with us is really short now. I'm actually waiting on a call back from the vet to discuss the when and how of it all, but Lance and I finally sucked it up enough last night to talk about it. We both knew her time was coming if not already here but neither of us wanted to bring it up and actually say it out loud to the other.

I was at my hair lady's yesterday and was talking to her about Eleanor, she is a dog-lover and so is very understanding of it all. She was there for me when I had to say good bye to Franklin and knew how hard that was on me. As I was talking about Eleanor out-loud, I realized that Lance and I are being selfish right now and we need to consider Eleanor more than ourselves.

Eleanor spends her days and nights laying down, she can't get up to play or to snuggle and if she tries to, you can see how very hard it is on her. Her back left leg can't bear any weight on it so she holds it up and curls it as if it is broken, but it isn't. Because she has not used that leg in a couple weeks now, it has lost all the muscle and weight in it and looks sunken in and bad. When we take her outside for potty, we have to sling a towel under her belly and lift/carry her down the stairs and into the yard. When she sees me getting the towel, you can almost read the relief cross her face. And when I slip the towel under her belly, I can feel her give me all her back weight to carry for her.

So, I sent the word out to her friends, asking them to come give her one last hello. Eleanor has her favorite people that she's known since puppyhood and when she hears us say their name or that they're coming over, she gets all wiggly and smiley because they are her friends too. I know she'll try and put on a brave front for them, because that's what dogs do, but I also know she'll really love the opportunity to see all of them one last time. I'm pretty sure she'll know why there here too, she is just that smart and perceptive…

It's going to be a rough weekend. But it is going to be full of cheeseburgers and peanut butter.

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